Confessions of an Ambulance Driver

I've decided that I would come up with my new job description: professional hair holder. All I seem to do at two out of my three jobs is get paid to be someone's fake best friend and hold their hair and rub their back while they puke over the toilet.

My university had their spring festival this past Friday, and all it was was a bunch of drunk biddies who can't hold their alcohol. Now, I'm not saying that I can, but I don't drunk to such excess that I need to be transported by ambulance. 

I don't get it. Do people just enjoy getting so splurged that they can't stand up? Do they think it's attractive to have vomit all over themselves? 

And I thought we came to university to learn! Novel!